Foreword

Foreword

Ali Scarlett and I have crossed paths online on numerous occasions, recently connected more formally, and I look forward to eventually meeting him in person.

Yes, we have not yet met in person. And yet… It feels like Ali is an old friend.

When I first encountered Ali, he reminded me of a scene from The Dreamers.

The Dreamers is a movie about movie buffs whose lives revolve around movies. The protagonist calls himself one of the “insatiables.” These are the guys who can never have enough, the type of guys who sit as close as possible to the screen so they can receive the images first.

Ali seemed to have that same spirit. But instead of movies, it was personal development, growth, and strategies for success. He was one of the insatiables, asking the most questions, reading the most books, and always working the hardest.

What a winner.

Incidentally, this is what I love about networking in the digital age we live in.

Your potential is not bound by the physical world anymore. The information, the teachers, and the people available to you today can truly give you wings and make you free, no matter your past and regardless of your current station in life. It doesn’t matter if you’re in what Trump would have called a shit-hole country, a God-forgotten village of farmers (like where I grew up), with an abusive parent (like Ali had), or if, at a certain point in life, you were desperate and couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel (like both Ali and I have been).

Somewhere out there, there is someone who can help you stand back up and show you the way to a level of success that you could have never dreamed of.

I don’t know your current station in life. Maybe you are having difficulties seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Or maybe you’re well outside that tunnel, but you are one of the “insatiables” driven to have more, be more, and do more in your life.

Or maybe you just want something better for yourself. In any case, this book will help you.

But before you plunge in, a quick heads up: the power of your network is potentially limitless. But, as Ali will explain, networking is an exchange. This means that the only limits to who you want to network with, learn from, and work with are your personal drive, your skills as a networker, and the value you bring to the table.

People skills are crucial in this world.

Right now, I am living a digital nomad lifestyle, doing exactly what I love doing and living exactly the life of freedom I dreamed of living. People and networking have been crucial to getting where I am right now.

Yet, there was a time not long ago when I was as clueless as the next guy when it comes to people, networking strategies, and psychology.

I still remember when I first learned the power of networking, relationships, and general soft skills (which I now refer to as “executive skills”). I was in my graduate talent program, interviewing to get into the big restructuring project that had just started.

McKinsey was launching the program for us. It was a colossal opportunity to network with the upper management and learn from the most driven consultants—always get into any restructuring projects if you can.

That day, Michael, an IT SVP, was interviewing in the teleconference room. He asked me why I wanted to join the program. Working with the little I knew, I said I wanted to join so I could “learn the lean methodology.”

His answer was a tectonic shift at how I looked at personal development and career growth. He said, “Are you here to learn the lean methodology, or to learn about people skills? The methodology is useful, but an even bigger opportunity is to learn soft skills. Things like leadership, persuasion, presentations...”

Yep. I went in there focusing on technical skills, but Michael Schlitt (I still remember his name) showed me that the methodology—the technical skills—meant little to those who had real power. He even did it without making me feel like an idiot for my answer. He showed me, with a brimming smile, what being an SVP was all about—and it wasn’t about technical skills. Michael didn’t know shit about lean methodology.

Power is all about people skills, soft skills—what I now call “executive skills.” The executive skills—which Michael didn’t mention, because those are part of the “unspoken skills”—also included knowledge and mastery of power dynamics. It included things like speaking with confidence, looking authoritative, and knowing who to ally with.

His answer had left me speechless. It was that day I realized: tech skills give you job security. People skills give you board seats.

It’s all too common that we see younger folks focusing solely on developing their hard skills in an attempt to make more money and achieve their goals quicker, but life satisfaction rarely comes from money or getting a “good job.” This book will teach you how to leverage an even more fundamental form of power that will make you not just more successful, but far happier and fulfilled. At the end of the day, only other people can give you happiness and fulfillment.

As Brene Brown said, “Connection [with other humans] is why we’re here.”

Oh, P.S.:

Ali insisted that I write something about me.

I hold a master’s degree from La Sapienza, department of communication and sociological research, and I am a member of the American Psychology Association (APA).

My mission is to empower underdogs with knowledge of the unwritten rules of the world—things such as life strategies, psychology, persuasion, and anything related to people and social dynamics.

I believe that without that knowledge, good people and underdogs alike will always be screwed by the ones who are born rich, ruthless, or less conscientious (or all of them). Learning power dynamics and effective people strategies is the only way to level the playing field.

That’s what I love about Ali’s work: he was not blessed with a silver spoon in his life. He had to carve his way up, and he used people skills to do it.

This book will help you, too, carve your way up. It will empower you with the knowledge, tools, and resources you need to do your best with those who matter the most to your success: other people.

Are you thinking you don’t need this? That’s exactly what all the average folks think—and no offense to average folks, truly.

In my work and in my life, I see an endless stream of people who are killing their chances because of silly, people-related blunders.

They screw themselves up by breaking the basic, unwritten rules of social interactions.

They ruin a relationship with unneeded confrontational frames, they inadvertently offend superiors, or they simply fail to come across as people worth networking with (and that includes people who are worth networking with).

Most of the time, those mistakes were avoidable. If they had only known the very basics of people and success strategies...

While those painful experiences can serve as great teachers, not everyone learns from them. This book will help you understand those unwritten rules so you will not make those silly mistakes in the first place.

You will instead start doing what works.

Ali has screened each strategy and technique for its effectiveness, drawing from some of the best authors around. This book is well-referenced, practically-oriented, and real-world tested, which is exactly the approach I love and use in my own work.

What makes Ali’s book so unique is the perfect combination of high-quality writing, top-notch strategies, and his own highly inspirational story.

Read it, internalize it, exercise it. I am confident that this book will be a big stepping stone in your road to success, personal empowerment, and life satisfaction.

To you, my friend, and to your continued success.

Lucio Buffalmano

Founder, ThePowerMoves.com